Monday, September 6, 2010

The wear and tear

During dinner tonight Blakely's surgeon Dr. Lim gave us a call. He informed us that he felt the need to take her back to surgery tomorrow. I had to hold back my tears. I had a feeling it was coming, but was in a state of denial hoping the new antibiotics would work a miracle. They didn't though. She will be having yet another surgery tomorrow sometime. The surgeons are adding her on so they have no idea what time her surgery will be. From what I understand she will have all of her stitches removed, her wound cleaned out, and they will leave some areas open and then she will have a dressing which need to be changed multiple times a day. He said he might have to take her to surgery several times this week to completely clean it out.
This is obviously not what neither Jeff nor I wanted to hear. After going 6 days without food she will now go no telling how long. This also pushes our "break out of NICU jail" date to later and probably much later. I feel like this is a never ending cycle.
She is so tiny and her body can only handle so much in my opinion. The nurses keep reminding me that these babies are tougher than we realize. I do know that I have a tough one, but her mamma is starting to worry. I also am being a little selfish because I was allowed to finally hold her as much as I wanted and now I can't even think about it. I am thankful she is tumor free and thankful she is alive, but as a human I want more.

Keep her in your thoughts tomorrow. Surgery is always a risk. Jeff & I are growing weary and need strength as well.

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